I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
