If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
