We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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