I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
