idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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