don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
