He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
ttyl tear gas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
