4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
