South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize