i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize