i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
