i barfeds in our rink
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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