If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
