So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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