I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
