So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
