i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
