They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
