you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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