you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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