is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
