Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
