I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Randomize
