Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
