i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
