We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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