I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
