Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
