I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
