that's an acceptable place to lick
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
