Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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