you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
