We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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