the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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