A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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