are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
