guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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