Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
