Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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