I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
