he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
