I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
