OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize