You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
