I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
