You're completely useless in the revolution.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
