can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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