I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
