You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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