guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
