PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
