so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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