walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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