I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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