i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
