One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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