On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
