we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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