Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
